Jody's Garage - Southern Stuff

SOUTHERN STUFF

JEB Stuart Jefferson Davis Robert E Lee Stonewall Jackson

Click to Enlarge

Jackson Meets Little Sorrel

Click to Enlarge

A letter from my Great Great Uncle Enoch, who was captured at
Fort Fisher and died in a Prisoner of War camp in Elmira, New York

Click to Enlarge

Elmira Prison Camp

Click to Enlarge

Click Here to Learn More About Elmira

Fort Fisher

A Southerner Knows...
--Only a true Southerner knows the difference between
a hissie fit and conniption and that you don't "HAVE"
them but "PITCH" them.
--Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess".
--Only a true Southerner can show or point out to
you the general direction of "yonder".
--Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long
"directly" is - as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."
--Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some
sugar" is not a request for the white, granular
sweet substance that sits in a pretty little
bowl on the middle of the table.
--All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by"
is. They might not use the term, but they know the
concept well.
--Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that
the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got
trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl
of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)
--Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece."
They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
--Only a true Southerner both knows and understands
the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
--No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
--A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used
as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
--Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a
resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger", or
something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
--Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We
don't do "queues", we do "lines"; and when we're "in line", we
talk to everybody!
--Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover
they're related, even if only by marriage.
--True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."
--True Southerners know grits come from corn and how
to eat them.
--Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs,
bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful;
that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
--When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin' ... ," you know you are in the presence of
a genuine Southerner!
--Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea
unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
--And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little
old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,
"Bless her heart" and go your own way.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM NORTH/SOUTH CAROLINA IF...

1. You've eaten at all of the following restaurants: Waffle House, Hardee's, Bojangles, and Krispy Kreme.

2. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires six pages for sports.

3. Your school classes have been canceled because of "the cold."

4. Your school classes have been canceled because of "the heat."

5. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

6. You measure distance in minutes. (Is there any other way?)

7. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

8. "Vacation" means going to the beach or to the mountains.

9. You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

10. You know several people who have hit a deer.

11. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

12. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks (or "pokes" if you're from Johnston or Cleveland County).

13. You've seen people wear bib overalls to a funeral.

14. You've seen a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

15. You've used "fix" as an adverb. Example: "I am fixing to go to the store."

16. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

17. You think of the major four food groups as BBQ, chicken, sweet tea and biscuits.

18. You carry jumper cables in your car.

19. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are (and have probably taken part in one or both activities).

20. You think that a Coke is a "Coke," not a "soda," and for goodness sake, never "pop".

21. You find 90 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

22. You know four seasons: "Almost Summer," "Summer," "Still Summer," and "Christmas."

23. You know which part of the state other North/South Carolinians are from as soon as they open their mouth.

Subject: Living in NC for all of you who can relate to living in NC (even if it was a long time ago or if you've only lived here a little while!)...

Things I've learned from living in North Carolina.....

*Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

*There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in North Carolina.

*There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in North Carolina, plus a couple no one's seen before.

*Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

*Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.

*If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it bites.

*A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

*Onced and Twiced are words.

*It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

*People actually grow and eat okra.

*''Fixinto" is one word.

*There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then there's supper.

*Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals... and you start drinking it when you're 2.

*Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

*"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

*You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

More about North Carolinians....

You know you're from North Carolina if:

1. You measure distance in minutes.

2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

3. You know what a 'tar heel' is.

4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

7. You install security lights on your house and garage.... and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.

9. You know what "cow tipping" is.

10. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.

11. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.

12. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

15. You know whether another North Carolinian is from east, west, or middle North Carolina as soon as they open their mouth or by the barbecue they eat.

16. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite pass time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"

17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.

18. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

19. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from NC and those who just wish they were.